Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 8, Episode 4
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the fourth episode of the eighth series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'RH' – Russell Howard *'MJ' – Milton Jones *'HW' – Holly Walsh *'JW' – Jack Whitehall Topics Unlikely Things To Read In a Valentine's Day Card *'RH' - I may be dyslexic, but that doesn't mean I don't vole you. *'AP' - Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got something nasty, and now so do you. *'HW' - You make me so hot, I can't stop thinking of you... Lots of love, Mum. *'JW' - Happy Valentine's Day on this 24th of February. Love, Royal Mail. *'AP' - You're the perfect person for me: pissed, and gagging for it. *'RH' - Be my valentine or die in a well. *'HD' - I love your eyes, I love your nose, I love your smell... Why must you be a labrador? *'AP' - Do we have to go through this shit every year? *'HD' - You make my pants hot! Yours, Ohmafruk Abdul Mutallah. *'JW' - To my darling wife! Roses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day is consumerous bullshit, now, haven't you got some ironing to do? *'HW' - Roses are red, poppies are red, the grass is all red-- SHIT, THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE! *'MJ' - I'm a bit of a man for the ladies. Doesn't matter how clearly the gents are signposted. *'RH' - I love you so much, I love you like no other, but never again les up with my mother! *'JW' - Life with me baby's like on a roller coaster: It's got a weight restriction. *'HD' - There's just three words I want to say: "Dream on, bitch!" Unlikely Things To Hear In A Science Programme *'MJ' - 1643: the cold air balloon is invented, but it doesn't really take off. *'HD' - For Einstein, it was easy to choose a DJ name, he would be MC Squared. *'JW' - Hello, I'm Dr. Gillian McKeith and today I'll be sifting through your poop. Why? Because I was never hugged as a child. *'AP' - Now on 5, Crop Circles: Myth or Bollocks? *'RH' - Next, to demonstrate chaos theory, we've locked Boris Johnson in a room with an aardvark and some magic mushrooms. *'MJ' - I was the man who discovered DNA. I wasn't gonna call it that but I was giving a lecture to the Royal Society and I said "Gentleman, I believe I've discovered the genetic fingerprint of all human life. Da-Na!" *'HW' - I'm Richard Dawkins, good night and God bless. Shit! *'HD' - Thanks to carbon dating, this skeleton is now going out with a short sighted geology student who likes thin people that don't talk much. *'MJ' - 1891, Sir Alexander Graham Ben receives the first wrong number telephone call. *'AP' - He realised that this equation was going to take him absolutely years, so he switched to a Media Studies course, which was a piece of piss. *'MJ' - I did have here a pie chart to demonstrate obesity. *'HW' - Apart from the human, the only animal to enjoy having sex is the dolphin. I had to shag a lot of animals to find that out. *'RH' - I'm a meerkat. She's not lying. *'JW' - Tonight we'll be discussing molecular science. Our guests are Sir Patrick Moore, Robert Winston, and Dappy off of N-Dubz. *'RH' - With their tiny arms, could the T-Rex self pleasure? Let's find out in another edition of Wanking With Dinosaurs. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See